I was never under the illusion that I consistently handled this experience with grace and poise and I regret nothing, but it would have been nice to have packed extra patience. The question was simple (almost predictable for a fan of reality TV competitions like me), but it hit home. In the car on my way to the dress rehearsal, the show's director asks, 'If you could go back in time to the first day, what would you say to yourself?' And while it might not have been pleasant all the time, I now understand that everything that happened, happened for a reason.

My journey has been a string of firsts and unknowns, growing pains and growth spurts.

It's all coming back to me: walking into the practice room for the first time and meeting my teacher Zhu Lingyu, the endless groans during leg stretching exercises, standing immobile for 20 minutes in a specific position to induce muscle memory, the hamstring injury and the daily trips to the hospital for physical therapy, beating myself up over the cartwheel move, the voices in my head telling me to walk away, feeling at awe while watching the pros practice, the deep breaths before my evaluations, the story swapping, the laughs and teasing, the tense exchanges on an especially bad day.

It's Day 99 and I woke up feeling emotional.Ī montage of bittersweet memories is playing in my head as I look back on the good, the bad and the ugly that got me to this point.

Peking opera headdress